I Know Whom I Believe

"Faith is .... belief in the face of all contradictions." These words are part of an inspirational slideshow which a friend sent recently. I do not know who penned these words. They strike a chord with me, as I have been fretting and praying over various issues - sale of my flat in the midst of an economic downturn, delays in repayment of loans that I made some years ago to a brother-in-Christ, lack of improvement in my nephew's school results.

I tell myself, "Believe in the face of all contradictions." I feel uplifted, encouraged and comforted by these words. They signify to me to trust in the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord God, to believe He will work all things for good even when things don't look good, to wait patiently for His perfect timing.

As I look back, events had indeed turned for good in the face of contradictions. My most vivid recollection was my mom's conversion to Christianity. Back in Aug 2005, my late mom was still making offerings for the festival of hungry ghosts; I had despaired then but quickly tell myself to ignore what my mom did and to trust in the Lord God. Just a month later, in Sep 2005, my mom became a Christian and was baptised. Well, unknown to me, my mom had been quietly alerting my old aunties of her desire to be Christian; she was preparing my aunties more than a year before she took her leap of faith.

Even though I have experienced God's goodness against all odds, faith - belief in the face of contradictions - does not come easily to me, hence the continued fretting and worrying. I need to constantly look to the Lord God, to ask for His help in my lack of faith. I empathise with the man with a demon-possessed son, who sought Jesus' healing and help in overcoming his unbelief.

"21 Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered.
22 "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
23 "'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" "
(Mark 9 : 21 - 24)

So then, what happened to my flat which I was trying to sell as one bad piece of economic news came after another? By God's grace, the second valuation of the flat this year was much higher than the first valuation last year and the Lord provided a buyer at the higher, second valuation. Loan repayment? Thank God, I have received a firm commitment on the repayment. And my nephew's school results? Still putting my trust and belief in the Lord God. Amen.

And as in the hymn written by Daniel Webster Whittle (1840-1901), I know whom I believe .......

1 I KNOW not why God’s wondrous grace
to me has been made known,
nor why – unworthy as I am –
He claimed me for His own.

But ‘I know whom I have believèd, and am
persuaded that He is able to keep that which
I’ve committed unto Him against that day.’

2 I know not how this saving faith
to me He did impart,
or how believing in His Word
wrought peace within my heart.

3 I know not how the Spirit moves,
convincing men of sin,
revealing Jesus through the Word,
creating faith in Him.

4 I know not what of good or ill
may be reserved for me –
of weary ways or golden days
before His face I see.

5 I know not when my Lord may come;
I know not how, nor where;
if I shall pass the vale of death,
or meet Him in the air.